


between the solars

by vanillampost



Series: Red Berries and Tangerines [3]
Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I swear this one ends with happy ending, Implied Relationships, Kisses, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Romance, Seriham, alternative universe, rest of cravity are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:54:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25686133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillampost/pseuds/vanillampost
Summary: serim will do anything to keep himself around wonjin no matter what
Relationships: Ham Wonjin/Park Serim
Series: Red Berries and Tangerines [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1714063
Kudos: 13





	between the solars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lusthees](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lusthees/gifts).



serim is sitting by wonjin's bed reading a book saying out the words clearly yet softly and gentle to the pink haired boy being comfortable under the covers of his blanket and bed listening to every word and sentences throughoutly just watching the older reading through the pages

"this is getting boring for me, why do you like literature paragraphs so much?" serim stopped mid page to be greeted by wonjins cute little whine and pouting cheeks asking for the other to continue reading

"stop complaining and keep reading, it helps me to sleep and you know that" wonjin said nudging serims heavy weight next to his covered feet when the older refuses to read again

both of them only stare at each other before serim broke out a giggle when wonjin won't stop whining like a kid, it brings him so much joy to tick off the younger and how much entertaing it is to see him getting annoyed at his own antiques 

"i wanna say a bad word but the nurses will hear" wonjin retreated in defeat and lets serim to bother him in different ways, the hospital room quietness is the only visible presence with them both with the distant noises of the tv neither of them bother watching

"then don't say anything at all" serim sticked his tongue out, getting his hand yanked and pinched by wonjin who couldn't get anymore not-so-really upset at him

this has been their everyday routine, serim visiting wonjin right after his afternoon courses until late night where he will go back into the online classes, even when wonjin has told him it's not healthy and he needs to take care of himself too, serim insisted on doing the same thing over and over not listening to wonjins concerns 

ever since the younger has been admitted into the hospital care due to his ailing state over the years because of the sickness he has been bearing when he was still a little child, serim visited him everyday without a single day being missed where their friends would only visit him once a week, serim is like a permanent resident of the room wonjin is in, always being there and only left when he is needed somewhere else

"not gonna leave you alone, you're stuck with me" serim once said when wonjin had told him to go home because it was really late and he don't want serim to get scolded by his own parents for staying out for so long

sure they have been friends for so many years, this is the cliché storyline of their lives where they are both has known each other since middle school and decided to be the best friend for each other until the end of their life, or whatever that happens like serim said

it is no surprise at all to serim that he eventually realizes he likes wonjin so much he would kill anybody and smash the back of their skulls with a mallet if they dare to hurt or offend wonjins feelings, at first he thought it was platonic friendship love, but after a series of gay dreams and got a long red talk with jungmo about how his feelings meant that he genuinely loves wonjin, he finally accepted that he in fact is so deeply and dumbly in love with him. 

but serim is stupid and dumb and stupid and dumb like how the rest of their inner circle of friends said, refusing to tell wonjin the truth about it because he thinks it'll be awkward and because he's not sure if wonjin even likes men or not, that's why he prefers to just be in the sidelines 

as the time goes on wonjin never questioned it anymore on why serim is always with him or does he not have any other people to stick to and follow around, they become a match and it was weird to see one without another like a pair of legos missing their legs or wigs

serim thought he could pull time for a more longer to ready himself on saying it to wonjin that he's gay and have been harboring feelings for him but before he could step out of his comfort zone, things gone south so quick. 

during one of their usual hangouts with the others wonjins nose suddenly just bleed slowly, and he quickly pulled serim closer "oh i am in trouble" he faintly whispered before his eyes sees blazing lights and dark corners and his whole body gives up on supporting him 

serim quickly catched him and all he could remember was his heartbeat and mind going completely blank, while woobin's voice on the back calling for ambulance ringed endlessly into his head and how jungmo was trying his best to help him carry wonjin up 

and alas here they are 

wonjins health is not improving, and he knows that too the younger knew he was about to go in no time but serim, serim was obvious and did not notice this, because for all he can care about is to company wonjin and make sure he is not alone 

"when are you gonna tell?" allen's voice cuts a bell on wonjins ball of thoughts, he quickly looked at him slightly opening his mouth but nothing ever came out

Allen understood this and he drank his water slowly and putting it down on the bedside table, patting wonjins head "you know it's better if he knew, it'll be easier and I can do my part without him asking so much"

"guarantee me one thing" wonjin sternly eyeing at allen without a slight of hesitation or unsureness "he will be happy, until he goes too" 

"ill do my best" allen nodded, with a relief wonjin sighing and smiling in return "thank you, I owe you so much" 

"you owe me that 5 dollar for the ice cream" the other cracked a small joke, to make the atmosphere less tense and he appreciated it when wonjin chuckled. 

serim did not understand why wonjin was pushing him away as days have gone more and more, but no matter what wonjin said he was still there, let it be they're not talking to each or when wonjin keeps telling him to get the snacks from downstairs minimarket

serim is sure wonjin has his own reasons, and he never question him or push his buttons to know why

that _until_ for the one time serim didn't need to go to the hospital anymore

he had wished wonjin would tell him everything truthfully without hiding something that would burden him alone, he wished wonjin would just tell him

there was nothing such as too late in serim's dictionary, and he did not waste another time for he wanted wonjin to know his true feelings if only he wasn't much of a stupid guy that likes to play around thinking he had much more time with the younger

_I love you_

there isn't any last times for serim when he is sure he will see wonjin again sometime in the other life maybe, the flower petals he let go free being blown away by the wind, along with wonjin just like how he likes it. 

_he is with the flowers and winter snowfalls_

serim did not want to admit he was lost, no he did not.

* * *

* * *

* * *

"how long have you been in here?" allen asks serim who have been downing maybe another bottle of alcoholic beverages, he did not answer nor even want to acknowledge that his friend was there, being worried that the later would give himself poisoning

serim was really adamant that his mental stability is going down north, despite the obvious signs and the foreign feelings he had ever since he need to let wonjin go, was it regret? bitterness? perhaps a combination of both, keeping him wide awake from night until the morning birds was knocking on his door

everything was a blur, he couldn't differentiate between what was a reality or what is dreams, he could still hear the younger's laughs or voice around his head and vividly see how he is still around like their normal days would do, being with each other happily and doing silly things together 

serim who is convinced maybe he was just starting to lose his mind overcome with the guilt of not being able to be there when the night wonjin had to leave, he still blamed himself for not being able to be there and be wonjins last night star to see and to say goodbye

he dyed his hair black again, people might thought it was just a sign that serim is still mourning, but really he just wanted to try and be a new person, something to forget about his old self that he hated so much for being stupid 

allen places his hands ontop of serim, tapping it lightly getting a drink for himself too letting serim to rummage through every words and every emotions he couldn't say beforehand, and allen willingly listens to every thing he said

"did he not want me to know because he knew I would end up like this?" serim dryly laugh devoid of any other signs of sentiments

"maybe, he didn't say much" allen shrugged, downing one shot the strong burning drink warming up his throat, he squinted his face as he wasn't that much a fan of alcohols yet he wanted to let serim know he wasn't doing it alone

serim just mouthed _oh_ without any other questions he wanna ask, he just goes back into another round of being quiet drinking with allen the jazz music surrounding the room

"he said he wanted you to be more happy than before, to go explore everything you couldn't before because of him" allen said again greeted by a loud snort

serim was very unimpressed by that line, drinking his bottle slowly not to choke himself up "why is he so hard headed and still blaming himself after his own death"

"serim"

"don't even start with me" serim shot back looking at allen gripping the bottle tightly between his fingers "dont reason with me or don't try to talk me into something"

"i am not" allen calmly replies drinking another shot, it was no use to argue or deny with serim for because it was not his intention to agitate the older, maybe he should've worded things better

"why are you here?" it finally come down to that question, serim wanted to know why allen suddenly showed up he didn't recall calling anybody where he is going or where is he at all, he wanted to be left alone and stay in his own solitude

he gotta admit it was harmful to push his friends away when they wanted to help, he felt bad when jungmo and woobin tried to get him out the dejected serim outright rejected them and even any attempts to let them take him out

but he couldn't stop it, he just didn't want to see anybody, even when everyday he woke up and see himself in the mirror looking like a hot shit, like he hasn't seen the glimpse of humanity in decades, like he has been thrown into a deep endless dark hole and there was no getting out of it

"why am I here? I wanted to help my friend" allen simply explained and serim rolled his eyes away hoping he wouldn't see

allen then went closer with his shot, his fingers getting a little bit to harsh against serims palms and skin, like a pint of blood made itsway out once he had stop digging his nails into serims skin

serim was startled because allen did it without asking or provoked, and acted like he did not do anything, grabbing a piece of tissue from the bar and wiped his fingers with the blood on it 

"hey quick question, what the fuck?"

"dont ask" allen flatly said and pinched the bridge of serims nose making the other even more confused and wondering what on earth is he doing

 _go home loser_ allen's voice appear on serims head, serim was downright confused by what's happening, however his foot felt like it was working with its own mind, a strange feeling engulfed him, his vision was filled night lights and haziness before he completely plunge down into darkness again

when serim opened his eyes, he was already on his familiar bedroom, the bright white walls and bright sunlight seeping from the windows waking him awake, he didn't remember much but allen telling him to go home

he could hear someone in his kitchen, and quickly snapped out of his senses and reflected on getting on his slippers and grabbed a tennis racket from the drawer in his room _lord if i die today let it be known i saved fifty kittens from a tree before and a loving boyfriend._

serim took a deep breathe, his blood rushing through every corner of his body as he slowly put his hand on the door handle pulling it carefully and as quiet as a mouse, stepping out of the room, he scanned for any threats of his safety and proceed to head into the kitchen when there's none

sneaking looking like an entangled animal while crouching down serim was sure it was a burglar running through his cupboards although he was very sure he haven't bought anything in weeks therefore the robbery was pointless, he sees a silhouette on the corner and readies to leap up and beat the fuck out of however it is since he is trained on self defense before, as the silhouette went further deeper into the kitchen serim walked in aiming for a swing 

but then the person turned around 

"what the fuck are you doing there with my tennis racket?" he asked, eyes wide with a plateful of breakfast on his hands

serim almost jumped in surprised and dropped his racket, staring at the person before him with the familiar hair and voice, and look

"wonjin?" he said out in a choked squeezed tone

"yeah?" wonjin looked even more confused than serim when the older looks like he had seen a ghost or some short

"what are you doing here?" serim blurted and he immediately wanted to smacked himself out for asking such stupid question

"what do you mean _what are you doing here_ you don't remember last night? you were too drunk to go home by yourself I had to get you" the younger said resuming to walk into the dining room putting down the breakfast while serim stares at him idly rubbing his eyes harshly

"you look like you've been hit by a truck sit down i made you coffee and pancakes" wonjin said sitting down, followed by serim who just complies to what he's being told to

the breakfast was dead silent neither said anything to one another, wonjin who's just eating his food and serim who barely even took a sip from his coffee 

wonjin stopped his eating to stare up at the older accros the table "are you sick? still hungover? of course you are, you drank like 9 bottles alone" wonjin shaked his head a little "you are insane"

serim felt trembles on his body, he got the bottles part right, but for the rest of it his mind is haywire and a brickwall being ranned over by a toyota corolla did he finally die? did he get alcohol poisoning and this is heaven he's in? or purgatory?

but it all felt too real, and wonjin was right infront of him, breathing, alive, and his normal self

"hello? earth to park serim?" wonjin clapped his hands loudly enough for serim to go back into reality

"huh? yes sorry I am fine, just lost and still trying to collect myself" he blinked, looking down at his hands and body everything is real and its not a dream

what the fuck is going on?

he wanted to know but his stomach was demanding the warm pancakes

* * *

* * *

* * *

"now that's a weird dream" wonjin against serim on the couch said while reading his book, the _same_ book serim had read him everyday on the hospital, readjusting his glasses every five minutes

serim didn't tell wonjin everything, including the fact that he was terminally ill and looks like he's about to die any second compared to that wonjin the one he's holding is very bright and look much more lively and healthy he held him tighter to make sure it was real and not an imagination

"what kind of person are you to dream that i am dead? you hate me that much you want me to die early before you?" the younger asked in a mock and teasing voice "well too bad, I think i will be that little demon around you for seventy more years"

serim hope so too, or so whatever state he is in it happens too because everything seems fictional to him, like nothing of the past 8 months ever happened or took place

nevertheless all of that serim is glad that wonjin is on his hands again, with him and is well he feels like everything was a terrible dream and this was the actual thing

"do we have any plans today?" serim wanted to know if any of this was just a hallucinations of his decreasing mental health "you usually go out everyday"

and wonjin do, love to go out everyday even when he is sick and can barely walk for more than two hours and depending on serims hold to guide him through some places so he wouldn't fall back down and hurt himself even when he was on the hospital he would drag serim out into the rooftop garden to smell some morning air

"yeah we had a date for two in the afternoon" wonjin flipped through another page sparing a slight glance at serim "I'd thought you remember"

it's hard to deny any confusion or suspicion if something is wrong serim still looked like he got hit by a frying pan since breakfast, but he just goes along with what wonjin do

even when they are already on the long days of hanging out on the shopping malls or parks serim just held wonjin hand quietly behind him letting the younger lead them on through the crowded place serim did not mind because he never got to see wonjin this energetic and full of life before

something he has long missed seeing in him

from wonjin with his wide smile waving from afar of the playground in the park telling serim to quick and take the photo to them both having a sweet full day of riverside walking just basking under the bright sun and going into ice cream parlors getting their favorite flavors in a cup for two like the gross disgusting couple they are

except serim comes into his mind that if this is the same day as before, like repeating a cassette it means one thing straight and one thing clear 

wonjin don't know that serim loves him more than this

for wonjin this is just their regular bonding and best friend time, where they are just wasting their time being platonical and no romance whatsoever included 

and serim is fucked.

"hey won" serim called out boldly when they were walking down near the next train station they're going to "i have something to tell you"

"what is it?" wonjin cutely anticipates what is about to be said holding the ice cream come he had ordered again along the way

and this is the part where serim has to beat himself up and tell everything he wanted to say, those years where just stuck his feelings up his ass hide behind curtains not daring to do anything about it like a coward, all those years loving and cherishing wonjin under the knowledge of everyone or the younger himself he wanted to just yell and scream on how much he loves him and how much he likes wonjin 

his heart was gonna burst out his chest and the air on his throat was getting pulled out from his lungs forcefully, while the blazing heat was melting wonjins ice cream slowly by slowly taking time to put his words correctly serim's lips finally started to move

"i think i love you more than we usually do" such short words yet full of impact on serim, like he's being blasted to a wall behind them and trampled by the debris of the collapsing building that is equivalent of him getting his words out of his ass

wonjin stood there, and dries his mouth with a tissue expression unreadable, and seemingly amused by what he's seeing that is the nervous wreck serim standing on the opposite side with their shopping bags on both of his hands, this is like a scene straight out of from a drama 

"okay...? I thought you always do" wonjin ate the remaining ice cream and threw the cone away like the menace he is instead of eating it

"no wonjin I mean like I love you love you" serim tried to imply what he's saying again and wonjin returned it with a lighthearted giggle that sound like a pots of pans being dumped into serims face

"yeah, i know that you stupid why must you say it again? have you not been doing that since we started going out?" wonjin teases him again and everything else now just a whiplash into serim

the past tenses and the references wonjin had made slapped serim and flabbergasted him at the same time that he didn't knew how to react but with "oh.... right sorry" wonjin laughed at the weirded out and confused serim grabbing his hand so they could continue their walk "you just make us lost like 5 minutes and we almost missed the train home you dumbass!" he jabbed at serim pushing his side lightly when they are seated in the train

serim didn't feel anything by that looking out the window, so many thoughts are on his mind but for some reason he could not let it out, he couldn't made it out on what was it, it was a mix of every emotions on the book that he's afraid that he will woke up again into an empty life and nothingness he didn't want to go back into, he wanted to stay right there on wherever he is or what is happening with him right at the moment 

wonjins dark blonde hair was dreamy into him and he look very much ethereal like he was a perfect illusion again, it takes the younger to lean his head into the older's shoulder to let it know that somehow, this is a reality that is made out of the concept far serim can understand

but for him this reality was everything he had hoped and wished for every night, he was just still in disbelief that it all happened like a flowing water in dreams

wonjins touches was not a fantasy, it was beautiful them laying on the bed just with them both giving so many loving kisses into each other skins, wonjin latching into serim letting him take over his body gentle and careful not to hurt him or make him uncomfortable it wasn't that much, it was just a sign for how much serim love him pouring all of his heart and passion into wonjin, stopping it once he already felt its enough to show.

"you work like a uncaged beast there" wonjin rubbed his neck yawning softly while serim breathe heavily being shy and flustered "what's with all that?"

"ambitions" serim shamelessly admit getting a loud fake gagging from wonjin who threw his shirt back into the owner, as he too gets back into being dressed "have you ever heard the dangerous of premarital sex serim?" wonjin seriously warned him

serim just let's out the biggest obnoxious laugh ever into wonjins ear

but something stucked on the back of serims head, is wonjin willing to live until they're ready to reach that commitment? in this reality where they would grow really old and frail living on their small cottage house with their seven dogs and cats? it could be a probability

"you wanna marry me?" serim was not sure of what will be the answer he just wants to mess with wonjins mind for once in this timeline

wonjin pauses for a minute before giving an ominous answer serim couldn't really make out "dont think much of it that far, i just don't wanna have uncomfortable ass in the morning yet" he made it clear

and serim's expectations got watered down in a funny way, as he tackled wonjin into the bed back

"what in the? park serim let me go!"

"nope, not gonna"

wonjin punched serim on the waist lightly as the older winced in deep pain running away laughing 

"ham wonjin!" serim got up and tries to catch up with him, chasing the younger around the house like an idiot 

wonjin had a lifetime of the day playing around with serim seeing him struggling to catch up as he swiftly escapes the older.

"i will eat you" an empty threat from serim that wonjin could care less about 

"i dare you to" 

* * *

* * *

* * *

serim worked up in the middle of the night, feeling tired as wonjin is next to him soundly sleeping clouded by the blanket, serim was in awe at the sight kissing his cheek gently getting off the bed putting on every clothing that was thrown off from his body in the aftermaths of wonjins little game, in which they both got carried away to

he washed his face in the bathroom and had a small thinking thoughts again, was he sure that everything is okay? this is a brand new life he was getting put into and he was still timid, and for this time he admits that he is lost, but not in a bad way

he is generally lost about everything but since wonjin is next to him all those thoughts was being kept at bay 

"i know you're confused"

serim turned around at a rapid speed, and his face was looking like an incoming truck was about to slam his body apart 

"what are you doing here allen?" serim stares at the other who is sitting on the toilet with the same outfit he was on in the bar

Allen sighs fixing his posture and snapped his fingers, and serim can sense every thing had stops in place, his veins was tight and there was a gut punching sensation on his whole body "this isn't the same day and wonjin you knew" no shit

"what do you mean?" serim couldn't move, his body was frozen in place

"long story short serim... uh you see I am not your ordinary human, or friend, or any living being" allen coughs and explains himself "i am certain that you are aware of everything today is weird, right?" he asks before serim struggles to nod in understanment

"good, let me explain this briefly to you" allen clears his throat "this sounds batshit crazy serim but I joke you not, I am currently responsible of the time flow of the universe and what not"

and that's where serim lost the whole plot and is very sure he hit his head too hard against the bed and made this whole scenario up 

"weird trippy thing I know" allen continues and awkwardly smile "so here's the thing, you are in a-"

"alternative universe" serim finishes his sentence for him, that what has been bugging serim the whole day, he just forgot or don't know on how to call it

"correct" allen confirms his assumptions "and that night at the bar- I tossed you in here, this particular timeline of your life and reality where wonjin never died"

allen stood up from the toilet and went closer to serim and pointed out to the door, opening by itself, pointing to wonjin "he asked me for this, before he died on the other universe he wanted me to make sure you weren't suffering alone, so this is the best I could do for him"

"but do not thank me yet serim, you see when I do so, the current time flow of you in the other universe is limited too meaning? your life is being split apart into two" allen had a downcast look "i just passed your consciousness into this universe, while the other you is _asleep"_

serim realized now what is going on and what does it mean, it means it was his turn to be running out of time, and of course he sees it coming because it was too good to be true for this to happen without any cause "how long?" he knew whats his real fate if he keeps being in here

"twenty years" allen told him that it was not that bad and they both have so many years left together "twenty years is alot i know, but serim over the years there might be some changes to you in this timeline"

a dilemma, no he was given an ultimatum by Allen and he needs to make a right decision.

"its up to you really, you can stay here serim I understand but you will face risks, but if you wanna go back... i am glad I can give you a closure with him" allen finally stopped talking and awaits for serims answer

serim had finally reached the end of the destination, the end of the road and he has now has to face it again his own biggest fears and something that he wanted to avoid

but life doesn't work that way doesn't it? everyone had their risks and consequences to face in the choices they made, it was normal to face it but one thing about serim is that he was still scared to face it, feeling left alone again in nothing but lightless place where he needs to make his own decisions

he is happy with wonjin, he did everything he couldn't with him before and lord knows how much he is in love with the younger boy, he is willing to give everything for wonjin and would even give himself up for him

serim wanted to spend everyday under the sun with wonjin, like the stars around the solar system, they are the two stars next to each other illuminating brightness into each other lives and fall down into the atmosphere together if it is their fate to fall down

and so here he is, with a simple yes or no question

"i wanna stay with him" serim did not think twice about it

"very well, I respect your choices" allen patted his shoulder flicking serims forhead, awaking the said boy from sleep

"about time you wake up" wonjin greeted him after much of poking his face

serim smiled and holds wonjin cheeks kissing him and cuddling him up warmly until they have to got up and went out again for the day

"hey" serim back hugged wonjin resting his chin on wonjins shoulder

"hey, what is it?" wonjin looked back whining on the kisses

"you know that I love you right?" he chuckled

"i know that, what are you so sappy for? cut it out before I punch you" he spatted getting even more kisses on the cheeks

serim knew that it was a big risk and huge leap on refusing to go back, and he would face the consequences sooner or later, but twenty years is a long years and they could spend the rest of the years all they want

flying all over the world or just settle in house they wanna own, everything is fine. 

as long as he is always around wonjin.

* * *

* * *

* * *

"hey won?" serims voice echoes from the front door "what's this money doing in the coffee table?"

"leave it! it's for a friend" wonjin shouted back from the kitchen washing the dishes, serims head popped in from the archway of the kitchen "a friend?"

"yes it's for a friend" wonjin smiled at him 

_a good friend._


End file.
